


A Werewolf and a Witch walk into a Diner

by meowvelous



Series: Mundane Magical Gays [2]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Dialogue Heavy, F/F, Magical Realism, Writing Exercise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-22
Updated: 2019-06-22
Packaged: 2020-05-16 06:45:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19312789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meowvelous/pseuds/meowvelous
Summary: What it says on the tin.(Two gals - who are only pals - get caught up after a summer and semester spent apart)





	A Werewolf and a Witch walk into a Diner

**Author's Note:**

> Just something I wrote to get a feel for these characters. Changed some things once I sat down to write the main story, but I still think this is fun, so here I'm posting it.
> 
> Warnings: Mention of past violence/death, possible... unsettling things in terms of necromatic magic? idk man. Let me know if you think this needs any more warnings.

Lily woke Jess up by jumping on her bed, repeatedly. “How did you even get in my apartment,” Jess asked, addressing the ceiling despairingly.

“Your roommate let me in,” Lily gleefully informed her. “She thinks it’s hilarious.”

“Also your girlfriend is really cute!” Eliza – the roommate in question – called from the hallway.

“She’s not my girlfriend. And I’m kind of offended you’d think that I’d date someone so young.” Jess snarked back before sitting up and stretching, yawning widely.

“Hey!” Lily snapped, offended. “You’d be lucky to get a shot at all this,” she gestured up and down at herself. “I’m a hell of a catch.”

“Uh-huh.”  Unfolding out from under covers, Jess shoved at Lily until the other woman got off her bed, and then pushed her out of the room, closing the door behind her.

“You  _ are  _ a catch.” Ian, another roommate, volunteered as he poked his head out from his room. He gave Lily a very obvious once over and grinned.

“Uh, creepy? Stranger danger much?” Lily grimaced and took an obvious step to the side. It didn’t put much distance between them, but it still sent a message.

“Sorry, he thinks that’s a compliment,” apologized a man’s voice from behind Ian. His boyfriend Ben appeared, and dragged Ian back into the room.

“I regret everything.” Jess announced as she left her room. She wore an oversized t-shirt that was falling off one shoulder, displaying the straps of her sports bra, and dark grey sweatpants. “Why the hell are you over here so early anyway?”

“Pancakes,” Lily replied, grinning widely.

***

“So, what’s new with you? I know I’ve technically seen you in the last few months, but it feels like it’s been years!” Lily asked, sliding into the booth, with Jess sitting across from her.

“Well...” Jess hedged, picking up a menu and studying it in lieu of replying. She lowered it to see Lily staring determinedly at her, and let out a sigh. “My sister Lori came to town and stayed around for a few weeks. So that was... fun...”

“Wait, you have a sister? I thought your family all... you know...” Lily made a vague hand gesture, which was her way of tactfully referring to the fact that Jess’ ex-boyfriend murdered her entire family.

“I’ve got two sisters left – Lori’s older than me, and Cait is a few years younger. Cait still won’t talk to me, but Lori is trying.” Jess shrugged.

“Riiiiiight... So... How’d that go?” To go with her probing tone, Lily also used her menu to jab at the one that Jess was holding.

“It went fine.” Jess replied shortly.

Poke. Poke.

“...She set me up on a blind date. It was awkward.” Most people would be deterred by her flat expression, which promised bodily harm.

Unfortunately, that look stopped working on Lily three years ago. Still, she was surprisingly sympathetic as she grimaced and set her menu down. “Must be hard to get back into the dating pool, considering. Hell of a set of baggage to dump on a guy.”

“It was a woman, actually. My date.” Jess’ tone was matter of fact, and coupled with a shrug.

“What?” Lily yelled, slamming both hands down on the tabletop. The background noise of the diner briefly dimmed, as all the other patrons halted their conversations to stare at the commotion. When there was a pause and no more shouting followed, the noise level rose again. “What?” Lily hissed, “You date women? You’re not straight? Why am I only finding this out now?”

“It’s nothing new; it just didn’t come up before. Why are you so surprised?” Jess lowered her menu to raise a single eyebrow. “Is it a problem?”

“Oh don’t even,” Lily said dismissively, waving her hand. “You know I’m gay as the day is long. I just can’t handle the fact that all your preternatural hotness is apparently available to women too. It’s just not fair.”

“...Right...” As always, reference to Jess’ physical appearance made her uncomfortable. She knew people found her attractive, if her resting bitch face didn’t turn them off, but Jess didn’t like the attention. “Anyway, I guess I bored her or something, and so she ended up making out with my sister.”

Lily burst out laughing. “Wow, that’s amazing. How does it feel to know your sister has more game than you?”

Jess rolled her eyes. “I’m used to it. I think the main reason my sister even set me up with her, is that Lori found her hot, so...”

They were interrupted when the waitress came over, with Lily ordering them both the full breakfast plate and coffee. Because Jess was passive-aggressive, she waited until the waitress had left until she said, “Did you seriously just order for me?”

“What? It’s got some of everything, everything you could want. Besides, we’ve eaten at enough places like this after supernatural shitshows that I’ve got your weird breakfast preferences memorized.” Lily shrugged. “Don’t make it weird.”

“Your face is weird.” Jess muttered, pulling out her phone now that she didn’t have a menu to hide behind.

Lily snickered at the weak retort, but pulled out her own phone. It was silent – no new messages, since her best friend Nell was still asleep. Probably curled up with her gorgeous girlfriend, that lucky jerk. So she pulled up her favourite phone game and played that for a bit.

When their food finally appeared and was set down, Lily rubbed her hands together eagerly before she grabbed her fork and knife. “So, not that you asked, but I got into necromancy this summer,” she said conversationally as she buttered a pancake.

This statement earned her a bewildered look from their waitress, who glanced nervously over to Jess, and finding no answer in her expression, turned abruptly and walked away. “What the fuck, why would you say that then?” Jess hissed, leaning forward.

“Oh c’mon, that was funny, did you see her face?” Lily chortled to herself, not pausing in her actions. “Anyway, it’s true, I figured why not? Turns out it’s really not that hard.”

“I... don’t even know what to say to that. Isn’t it kind of...” Her words trailed off as Jess poked at her eggs (sunnyside up) and looked uncomfortable. Despite being a supernatural creature, her knowledge of magic was limited to her observations of Lily over the years.

“Naw, it’s not much of a thing.” Frowning in concentration, Lily made a dam of sausages to keep the syrup away from her eggs (scrambled). “All I needed was, like, a bunch of blood? Which I got from a butcher easily enough.” She shrugged. “He was weirded out, but it’s perfectly legal, no one can kick up a fuss about me using it to draw satanic sigils on private property.”

Jess sputtered a few times. “Do I even want to know what you used it for?”

“Oh, I brought back Nell’s childhood dog, Betsy.” Lily shrugged again. “Even though she was cremated, her body reformed without any issue. She’s albino now, and her eyes are all cataract-ed so she looks blind, but she can see fine. Seems happy enough, if her tail wagging is any indication. Nell’s mom wasn’t sure how to take it at first, but well, Betsy was – and still is – good company, apparently, so.”

Across from her, Jess had gone still and her face drained of colour. “Does that mean... Could you bring back a human?” Her voice trembled, caught between hope and fear.

Finally looking up from her food, Lily pursed her lips. “I.... don’t think so, sorry. It was easy enough to get Nell to calculate the volume of blood that an adult golden retriever would have. Magic is kind of stupid, animal blood is interchangeable. But for a human, I’d definitely need human blood, which I’d have to get from a hospital or something, and the living need it more. Plus...”

Now Lily’s expression turned sheepish. “Performing the ritual kind of knocked me out for a few days, my batteries were totally drained. Doing a human might kill me. Or someone else, and that’s just not my bag.” she took a deep breath, before meeting Jess’ gaze. “I can’t bring your family back, I’m sorry.”

Letting out a sigh, Jess gazed down and nodded, her shoulders drooping. “I know. I just... yeah.”

“I know.” Respectfully, Lily allowed a moment of silence before she resumed talking. “Anyway, I had my eye on this hot librarian, but turns out her dad is the butcher, and he warned her away from me. Stupid small towns.”

Jess burst out laughing at that, taken by surprise, and Lily smiled.

**Author's Note:**

> Got an idea you’d like me to write? Or just want to buy me a coffee? Check out my twitter account (@thegr8atuin) for more info!


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